just starting

Michael just called after our page. They are just starting. I guess there was some delay with the doctor (maybe another patient's needs?) but they are beginning surgery right now. I'm trying to not think about them cutting into my daughter.

In the pre-op room we met Deanne, the nurse. She put labels on Madeleine's binky and her pink blanket. Madeleine changed into a hospital gown and looked smashing, if I do say so myself.

Then Dr. Mosca came in and put his signature on three places on Madeleine's leg. Her knee. Her tibia. Her ankle. This is where he will make the cuts. He answered questions and reassured us. He was sweet with Madeleine and we feel like we are all in good hands.

We also met Daniel, the anesthesiologist. An attractive British Bloke who has very kind to us and warm with Madeleine. He explained all the pain management stuff and how it will all work. He will give her gas that will put her to sleep. He will then put in her IV. He said that since she is so chubby she is a phlebotomist's nigthmare. Hence the rotton experience we had with the blood draw. He will also insert her epidural. He and/or his resident, Sarah, will stay with her the entire time.

After meeting with us Daniel did a stranger test with her and took her from my arms. He walked her around for a bit chatting with her. This was to see if she would go with him. She did, my big girl. When it was actually time to take her though, she cried. She reached for me and cried and my heart broke. I kissed her and told her I loved her.

Her whole life we have anticipated this. It still hurts.