Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Too fast

I'm feeling sentimental. I started going through the M's clothing to give away to friends and charity. They have/had so many clothes because we have so many generous people in our lives. As I was separating the clothes into three piles (1. give to charity because it is ugly or stained, 2. give to friends who are expecting, 3. save because I will always want the reminder of how small my babies once were) I was struck by waves of very powerful emotions. Okay, I know that sounds strong and maybe a little cheesy but seriously that is how it was.

My tiny twins were so so small. They were fragile and weak. They were floppy and soft. They actually grew inside of me and then came out (imagine that!). When they arrived at 34 weeks they were basically still fetuses and there were not many clothes that would fit them. Thanks to my friend, Joy, who gave us two adorable "Under the Nile" sleepers and to Nordstrom for carrying the brand "Little Me" in preemie sizes. If it weren't for those sleepers my kids would have been in doll clothes.

So, the other day as I separated grown out garments I remembered how little they actually were. I thought about how they have grown in so many ways, physically(of course), emotionally (kind of), and socially (extremely). I am so completely blessed.

As I was nursing the two of them last night (yes, we still do that.) I was shaken by the length of their bodies. They are no longer babies (sniff) they are small people (sigh). And, they will continue to grow. There is a picture of me holding Madeleine's head during her first bath and it (as in her head) literally fit in my hand. I will never have that back.

A word to my friends who have small babies or who are expecting (as in pregnant) or who are future expecting (as in not pregnant yet but someday will have a tiny baby in their arms): enjoy enjoy enjoy! Take pictures. Make feet and hand prints. Shoot video. hold your baby. hold your baby. hold your baby. When you wake up in the middle of the night and you are ragged with exhaustion remember that this is fleeting and you won't always be able to hold your tiny baby as he/she sleeps.

Now, why was I complaining about sleep?

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Niki - with my oldest's first year outfits, I selected my favorites, and had a girlfriend make them into a quilt. I should take a pic and post it - it's really awesome... I have my youngest daughter's stuff saved, but haven't had it made into a quilt yet. But I will! It's my favorite thing - it means the world to me!!