Saturday, September 29, 2007


Let me apologize first by saying that I'm having an emotional day. I will preface that with the ground breaking news that I'm having a 'visit' with my first menstrual period post partum. Yep, it has been two years since I have had a period.

I've taken to reading other people's blogs- I like blogs from other mothers. I can identify. Some people I know and others I do not. I have found blogs from mothers whose babies have cancer, autism, down's syndrome. Mothers of twins, quads and singletons. I have been reading a blog from a mother who lost her baby to cancer (insert tears here).

I have a friend who has a baby who is fighting for her young life. She has had four rounds of chemotherapy and it is not gone (more tears here). Her baby is the same age as Max and Madeleine. I have another friend whose baby is in remission from cancer; he is a few months older than M and M. Why do babies get cancer? How is this possible? I cannot begin to imagine what that must feel like for these mothers. How do they cope? How do they live? It is honestly my worst nightmare. The thought that I could lose my baby prematurely.

These thoughts bring me to the thankfulness I feel daily for my babies. How have I been so lucky to be given the role as mother to Max and Madeleine, the most brilliant people I know (insert tears of pride here). How am I so lucky to have healthy children. Yes, healthy. Madeleine is missing a fibula and a now, a foot. But cancer is not ravaging her body!

I watch my children sleep, eat, play, talk and even poop and I am amazed that they are full bodied people who have joined the human race. It is my job to nurture them, to teach them and to love them. Yet, they give so so much back to me.

Please pray for Brandon and for Gillian. What they have to go through is not fair. Please pray for their families who are finding strength in their love for their children.


Anonymous said...

aww! Gosh I am bawling! Nikki you are so incredibly sweet to mention brandon, thank you :) I always identify with your blog and the feelings you have, I admire YOU so much for everything you do for your amazing daughter and family! It's hard having twins and having one that is living life a little differently from the other. :) I never knew babies could get cancer until it happened to brandon, It breaks my heart to hear of other's babies struggling :(

Gosh I really wish you lived closer! :) Hope you had a great weekend and thanks again, you are so amazing. :)


Niki said...

Oh Melissa! I've been checking on Brandon- he is just the cutest little guy (outside of his identical twin! LOL). I'm just so so thankful that he has a new liver and he is doing okay even though you have to deal with that port thing. :(

I was reading Jenny's blog and thinking about Allie when I wrote this post. That little girl visits me in my dreams. (more tears here). What a strong woman Jenny is for doing so much for Heroes for Children.

I wish we lived closer too. We could have twin play dates! Besides, your toys always look cooler than ours! LOL!

KatieE said...

I think about those kiddos all the time ... ALL the time.