Finally Family Pictures

I think I have been meaning to get family pictures done for an eternity, or at least 3 years and 4 months. Finally my dear friend Jenna told me about her friend who is a professional photographer. It only took a minute to see her blog/website and know that I had to book her.

We were so lucky this morning to not have rain. It was cold but so super fun. Here is our sneak peak. Love it! Do I have the most beautiful twins you have ever seen or what?!

Thank you Alicia at NWphotoworks.com You were amazing to work with!

Our Summer Getaway

Retreat to the woods!

Homey Cabin

We didn't get to have many vacations this summer as Michael was very busy at work and with all of our 'car disasters'- well let's just say we enjoyed a few 'staycations'. We did, however, get to get a way for a few days to this fabulous mountain cabin. One of my clients, and friend, own this amazing little cottage way high up in the mountains Northeast of Seattle. The kids loved the novelty of a new place and Michael and I relished in no phone or computer access. It was truly delightful.

The cabin is close to this little town (about 40 minute drive) in the heart of the cascades called Leavenworth. It has been made into a Bavarian Village and is absolutely adorable. We also found a cool little farmers market that had great snacks, wonderful veggies and oodles of things for kids to enjoy. Max and Madeleine's favorite part was the kitty that lived in the store.

Leavenworth.

Polka Band

Max and Madeleine had so much fun even though it was hot hot hot there. The keep asking when they can go back! Michael and I would love it as well! Thanks Lynne and Jeff for the great memories from your fabulous cabin!

Max's Talent

Max has emerged as a talented musician. He loves to play his guitar any chance he gets and has recently begun to write his own songs.

Happy 3rd Birthday

Dear Max and Madeleine,
Tomorrow morning you will officially be three years old. For you it has taken forever to be three. You have been waiting to play in the big kid areas where you must be three. Madeleine has been waiting until she turned three to take ballet. Max has been putting off potty training until he turns three. You have asked me for several months now when you will be three.
For me, these three years have passed with a blink of an eye. I look at you and the sheer size of your bodies astonishes me. It wasn't so long ago that I held your tiny head in the palm of my hand. Daddy use to say that he has eaten sandwiches bigger than Max.

I remember taking you to a pediatric feeding specialist at Children's Hospital so that Max could learn to suck right. Now, Max orders his own sushi at a restaurant and will try nearly any food but still loves fruits and vegetables the best.

I remember feeling like Madeleine would never learn to walk. You got your leggie and you were so resistant to it. We tried everything to motivate you to walk. Now you walk with such confidence and grace. You run like Oscar Pistorius. You can gallop like Logan, hop like a bunny, hop on one foot and climb like a monkey. I never in a million years would have believed that you would carry yourself so beautifully and exude such athleticism.

Because you were premature you took a little more time to coo and to giggle. When other babies were smiling at 5 weeks you took your sweet time until you were 8 and 9 weeks old. Today, you both have the most exuberant personalities. You are conversationalists and negotiators. You laugh with your whole self and have perfected the art of telling the perfect poop joke.

From day one Daddy and I sung songs to you. I had a standard few, "You Are My Sunshine" and "My Little Buttercup" being my favorites, while Daddy made up his own. Remember "A Lady Doesn't Poop Her Onesie?" and our current favorite that goes "Max and Madeleine go together like a shirt and cardigan"? It is no wonder that you both love music. Max, you are a natural on the guitar. Your rhythm and enthusiasm is absolutely a gift. Your creativity in song writing is second to none. Madeleine, your love for live music is adorable. You are a natural performer always ending your songs with a bow and a heartfelt 'Sank You'. I cannot wait to see what you can do in ballet!

So, my babies, tomorrow we will celebrate three of the best years of my life. Your life is a gift to me and to the world. I am so excited to see you grow up and change the world. Remember that I will always be your number one fan in the front row.

I Love You with my whole entire heart,
Mommy

Paulina

Thanks to Kristina, (who always finds the good pictures and videos) I'm sharing this with you...

June 1st, 1996

I missed my Swedish Hospital Anniversary this year. On 6/1/06 I went into the hospital- I was 31 weeks. I think that now that the kids will be three soon I will take the there. They can see all of it. I 'm sure it will make me cry but honestly, they are more tears of joy than anything else. It is nice to be able to look back and report that my story so far has had a happy ending.

earth

Here's a conversation I recently had with Max...

Max: Mom, where's the earth?
Me: Um, well we are standing on it. It is the ground.
Max: But it is up in space?
Me: Um, well yes, it is up in space and we are up in space too. We are stuck to the earth by the pull of gravity.
Max: So, everybody is up in space?
Me: Yes.
Max: I'm up in space, you are up in space, Daddy is up in space, Madeleine is up in space, the whole world is up in space... everybody.
Madeleine: Mom, what does "everybody" mean?

Biking

It was a rare sunny day in Seattle when the Meyers Family ventured out to the University of Washington's beautiful campus to ride bikes.

Twinkle Twinkle?

The Twins show off their extraordinary talent. Move over Susan Boyle, you have competition!

Twins' Conversations

Madeleine (laying on top of Max)
Mad: Maxy, I love you.
Max: giggle
Mad: Maxy, those are really pretty eyes
Max: giggle
Mad: Maxy, I'm going to kiss you on the head because it is so soft.
Max: (passes gas)
Mad: Max, you just pooted.
Max: giggle

Madeleine's dream

It is so funny that my kids are verbal enough now and aware enough to tell me about their dreams. This morning Madeleine told me she had a dream. I asked her if she remembered it and this is what she said...

There was this lady and she was picking up Maxy's poop out of a river. Maxy was there too and I was afraid he was going to float away.

How awesome is that!?

Daddy

I'm quite aware that I blog about the kids and my experiences with fibular hemimelia and infertility way more than I blog about my husband or the father of my kids.

Why? I have no idea. We are a close family and Michael is as active of a parent as any dad, probably more so. He does all the 'right' things. Plays with them. Puts them to bed. Cooks for them.

In fact, our schedule is such that he is the 'stay at home dad' from 5 pm until 7 pm or so and all day on Sundays while I work.

He means the world to the Ms and to me.

There are very valuable lessons that he is teaching the kids. I will never under estimate the power of Daddy.

Yesterday Madeleine said, "Mommy, I love Daddy. He is a good guy."

Yoga

You know it is a new generation when your two year olds are doing Yoga! I remember doing Suzanne Somers with my mom and maybe a jazzercise class or two. We won't even mention that my grandma had one of the butt shakers and we thought is was hilarious as kids!

Max and Madeleine do yoga at school and have joined me in the family room for a pose or two. Here is Maxy doing the tree pose, his favorite. Sorry none of Madeleine right now but they will come soon.

Snow Angels

Max and Madeleine are a little obsessed with snow angels. They are always asking to try and I have discouraged it until this day in that their pants will get very wet and snowy, and we don't have snow pants (until this year I wouldn't have thought we needed them in Seattle).

On this particular day we were coming in from being out so I gave the okay. Very beautiful snow angels, I must say.

Haircut for Max

My son has always had sparse hair. Michael is the same. It isn't as if Michael is balding, on the contrary he has a complete and full head of hair but the hair he has is very fine. Maxy is similar. While Madeleine was born with a complete head of hair Max merely had a sprout of fuzz.

He never really grew hair fully for a long time. I'm also one that is partial to the 'long hair on boys' look so I was in no hurry to cut his locks. Recently, though, it had gotten too long and scraggly so we took him to the hair dressers or paid the big bucks for him to sit in a car chair and have someone give him a trim. Here is the result...

I'm shamelessly ripping these photos from my friend Martha, who is clearly a better photographer than I am.

I'm also super lame at uploading pictures of my kids from my camera.

What can I say... I have the cutest kids and not nearly enough time in my day to share them with the world via my blog.

They continue to amaze me with their brilliant wit and charming sense of humor.

One of the biggest new milestones is that they have begun to pretend.

No, I mean really pretend.

In the grocery store they pretended that the shopping cart was a fire truck. Every once in a while they would grab a random item from the shelf, olives, cereal, soup, and pretend was a tool to fix the broken fire truck.

More to come soon. I promise. It's just that it is almost ten o'clock and I have to put my daughter to bed.

Oh, yeah, the sleep thing? It is still an issue.

Before I begin

Before I begin let me tell you that I am completely grateful for what I have. I thank the stars daily for my kids and never ever do I wish that they were not around. I'm grateful enough that I would sacrifice everything to keep them and be content in never wishing for anything more.

When I was trying to get pregnant all of my friends were either knocked up or had kids. This was painful. It is hard for me to be denied something that I want. I'm use to getting what I want by being resourceful and determined. Infertility is completely out of your control. I hated that part of it.

I have thought about writing this for a long time. I feel selfish putting these words in print. But it still seems to be something that is begging to be written about.

My twins are almost three. Holy. Have the years flown by. All of my friends who have children around their age are having second or third kids by now. Once again I feel that every time I turn around I see another pregnant woman. I see a brand new baby. I see toddlers wearing, "I'm a big sister/brother" shirts.

To say that infertility doesn't bother me anymore is a lie. Yes, I have two of the very best children a mother could ask for. My family is complete. but my heart hurts. There is a hole that will never be filled and satisfied because it is not in my control to add to my family with pregnancy. Some days it pains me more than others. Some days I wish for a baby all day long.

I wonder if it is because the twins are growing up and I will never have that new babe in my arms again. I got one pregnancy and it sure was hell. I got a first year full of hardship and doctor appointments; leading up to Madeleine's amputation.

I feel robbed. If I could get pregnant would I have another baby? I'm not sure. God, I sound like a spoiled brat. Why can't I be thankful for what I already have? Because it is not in my control.

My friends, I am happy for you and your pregnancies and your new babies. In fact, nothing makes me happier than to see a new life added to a loving family. But I will always feel my own pain and loss.

May 1995

Do you know my mom? Let me give you a little background...
My mother was a very young mother. Too young. She had my sister very early in her first marriage and I followed two years later. It didn't take long for that marriage to end and then she was left with two small girls alone. How does a single mother do it? Seriously, I want to know.

My mother did it. She raised my sister and I to be confident and strong. She told us we were smart, pretty, gifted, talented, the best. We always came first, were number one. She would believe our story over anyone else's. She gave us little things to make us happy and feel appreciated.

I always felt loved by my mother.

Yesterday she sent me a package, completely out of the blue. That, in itself, is not surprising; she sends the kids things all the time. In the package was stickers for the Ms and a book, Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch. I'm sure we have all read this book. I have read it a million times and probably cry every time. I saw the book and thought how sweet that my mother had bought this book for us. When I opened it I saw this note that I had wrote almost 14 years ago!

(May 1995)
Mum-
I hope raising Wendy and me wasn't too much trouble. I hope the three of us will always be together. Save this book for Chance and possibly my future kids.
I love you,
Niki

My mother wrote this note to me:
I read this note you wrote me and cried. How wonderful you are. Trouble? Never! I was such a terrible mom. I think that's why you turned out to be a Great Mom. I wish I could have been a mom like you. I love you.

Michael's belated birthday

In my absence and with the holidays encroaching I never publicly wished my dear husband Happy Birthday. You see, at the time of Michael's birthday Seattle was under a blanket of oppressive snow. Happy Belated 37th Birthday, Michael, we love you!

You're how old!?

Madeleine helping Daddy blow out the candles.

Max waiting patiently for the cake to be cut.

Madeleine helping Daddy lick off all the frosting.

Potty Training

We have been working on potty training a bit with hopes that we will be diaper free by their third birthday in June. Madeleine has pretty much done the job herself (with a few exceptions) but Maxy has absolutely no interest. If put on the potty he will go, usually, but he never initiates.

Madeleine prefers the big potty with the toddler insert.



Playing with playdoh, notice the underpants.

Maxy likes the little red potty on the floor.

As long as he can multitask he has no problem sitting there.