I've been trying to think of something to write for Mother's Day for a very long time. The problem is, I cannot put into words how I feel about Mother's Day or how privileged I feel to be honored on this day.
How do you describe a mother? I could copy and paste one of the emails that has made its way to my inbox but that seems so Hallmark. First, let me say that I don't think you could possibly talk about what it is like to be a mother until you are one yourself. It is a different kind of existence. Yes, I know that we all have mothers and they mean a different thing to different people, depending on who you talk to. But to be a mother, to love and care for a child is something entirely different. No matter how you 'obtain' your child, through pregnancy or adoption, you know that you are a mother when you will lay your life down for that child without hesitation.
I can try to write about my own mother but I don't know if I can truly say what or who my mother is. I don't know if anyone could possibly really know my mom the way I do. My mom sacrificed much of her pleasures and life for my sister and I. She worked hard for us, to provide the best life that she could. She held high standards for us so that we knew we couldn't get by doing the minimum. She made special treats with us including homemade lollipops, graham cracker and frosting sandwiches, and yummy cookies. My mom did art projects with us. She has always been creative and artistic and never minded if my sister and I made a mess. She praised us and told us we were smart, beautiful, talented, the best. She let us be independent but we always knew she cared.
Today, my mom is still my biggest supporter. She has become my friend, a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on. She and I can talk for hours over coffee or on the telephone. She is a great lady. I hope the rest of the world can see my mother for how beautiful she is.
The problem is that we live very far away from each other and do not see one another as much as a mother and child should. One day it won't be like this but for now we make it work with telephone calls, airline flights and skype.
When my kids are freaking out, when there is way too much crying and fighting and toy stealing I remember that these are memories. Everything is temporary. Moments pass never to be relived. I want to remember the chaos with humor. I want to think back to the moments that I let the kids play with a giant bag of cotton balls and they stuck to the carpet with a smile. I want to remember chaotic dinners out with spilled juice and messy faces, it won't always be like that.
Ultimately I want my kids to have positive memories of their childhoods. I want them to think of the little things that mom did and know that it was all for them.
It is a privilege to be a mother, not everyone can do and not everyone can do it well. I will always cherish this job more than any other I will do.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, both the ones that have their children in their arms, the ones whose children are gone from this life and the ones who have yet to hold their children.